One Day at a Time...

"Home wasn't built in a day" - Jane Ace

The dust on the television screen is so thick, we're amazed our family members can even see the programs they watch. The grass in the backyard is so tall, rabbits can hide in it. And our inbox at work is so full it is literally tipping over.

We can be easily overwhelmed by endless housekeeping and professional workloads. We might even have trouble sleeping, wondering how we will ever catch up on our responsibilities. But if we tackle one simple task each time we walk into a room, we can slowly make a dent in the work. More important, we'll be able to sleep well at night, knowing this steady approach will also help us accomplish whatever tomorrow brings.

This daily reflection comes perfectly on the heels of yesterday's post. Lately I have been so focused on all of the "things" I have to get done on a daily/weekly basis, that I have thrown myself into an absolute frenzy. Yesterday I wrote about how sad I am, but after a little reflection of my own (and with some helpful advice from a fellow blogger and friend), I realized that the sadness I'm feeling right now is actually just immense stress. I have been so stressed that I have been punishing myself. Punishing myself for both things that I can control, and worse, for things I cannot. While I can control the cleanliness of my house, I cannot always control what happens at work. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed, that I confuse what I can and cannot control, and this creates a whirlwind of negative emotions. I also tend to overreact (shocker, I know). My mom always called me (and sometimes still does), her "little philly". Phillys are such high-strung horses, that whenever they get taken for a ride, their owners have to put blinders on their eyes so they won't get spooked. Case in point.

Today I was forced to put things into perspective. I have worked my tail off this entire month, doing everything I possibly could to ensure that I would meet my monthly goal and ultimately get paid a commission check. I even stayed really late today to make sure that all of my loans that were supposed to close this month did. It was all in vain apparently. I was one deal short of meeting my goal. One deal!!! What does this mean? First of all, it means that I won't get a commission check...again. But more importantly, it means that there's a very real possibility that I will get written up (since I was given a verbal warning last month). If I do get written up, it means that I cannot bonus for the following month. So, even if I meet my goal in September, I won't get paid for it. It also means that my chances at the job I applied for go out the window (anyone on any type of disciplinary action cannot apply for a new position for six months). So, I will be stuck in my current position for at least six months. Pretty crummy, right? I'd say so. I'm extremely proud of myself though. Once I realized that I had not met my goal, that I was not going to get paid, and that my chances at the new job were gone, I started thinking about all the positive things I had done throughout the month. I worked as much overtime as I could, which will result in a few extra bucks on my next couple of paychecks. I got caught up on my deal submissions, putting myself within the 5-day turnaround time that the department set forth. I cleaned up my inbox, getting the number of emails down to under 50. I made a daily schedule for myself (and my boss) each morning, to keep myself accountable during work, and adhered to it every day without fail. And I worked harder than I ever have before. I can say this truthfully and without hesitation. I know, deep in my heart...even if noone else recognizes it, that there was nothing else I could have possibly done to get that one extra deal this month. And that feels good. Despite all of the negative things that will result from this month, I can hold my head up high and be proud of what I accomplished.

I even carried that perspective home with me. I managed to clean the kitchen tonight and water the backyard. Sure, it's not an earth-shattering accomplishment, but it's a start. And like today's reflection says, you have to start somewhere...accomplishing one task at a time. If I can keep my work and my personal life in perspective at all times, taking on one thing at a time...eventually I won't be so overwhelmed. 

Tonight, I feel like I can sleep well knowing that I'm doing the best that I can. And that's all that matters in the end.

Today's affirmation: "Instead of racing to finish tasks, I'll work calmly and steadily until each job is done".