I'm sitting here at work...

wondering how long I can pretend that I'm actually working before anyone notices I'm staring off in to space. The morning got off to a rocky start after tossing and turning all...night...long. I think I may have slept like three hours total. At one point I was up playing "Wurdle" on my iPhone...I'm completely and hopelessly addicted to that game. That, and Facebook, Bejeweled and Words with Friends. I can't even remember what life was like before my iPhone...what a sad existence. Anyways, I didn't get in to the office until 10:45 and I may have accomplished one task so far. Is it five o'clock yet??

On another random note...my right pointer finger's nail is turning this awful sickly shade of yellow. One day it was normal...and the next day I noticed it was yellow. Hmmm, what could cause your fingernail to turn yellow? Oh right...smoking. Yes my friends, I will shamelessly admit that I am a smoker. I have been for quite some time now. I guess in my mind it was a way to stay skinny (along with Diet Coke and coffee) for all those years. But now, well, I am just a smoker. Damn, I really hate saying that, but it's the gospel. I love it, want it...need it. Ugh. I really don't want to become one of those old wrinkly ladies who sits in her arm chair...Diet Coke, cigarette, and remote control in hand...and watches tv and chain smokes all day. So gross. But, I can't seem to quit. I actually quit once for about three months, and it was wonderous. I could breathe better...I felt better...and I definitely smelled better. But then, well, I gave in...again. So here I am with a yellow fingernail and a pack of cigarettes wondering when I will ever give up this nasty habit...

Today's affirmation: "Walking away from something that is bad for me is not quitting"