I am so frustrated right now...

and need some unbiased advice. This could've waited until tomorrow morning to post, but if I don't blog about it now I may not be able to sleep tonight. As you know, Jeremy came back into my life, unexpectedly, about three weeks ago. Wait, make that a month ago. Man, where does the time go? We have been hanging out, going out on dates, talking on the phone every night, and texting each other during the day. Things are going great. It almost feels as though we never broke up in the first place...even though it's been over two years since we last dated. We both decided that, even though it feels natural to pick things up where we left off, to take things slow and start off by getting to know each other again. He just got out of a relationship (with a horrible human being by the way), and I am obviously going through my own healing process.

Because I was upfront and honest with him from the beginning about ED, he has been open and honest with me about things in his life. It's really been great...until recently. There is one issue that he has brought up on numerous occasions (tonight being one of them), that I cannot seem to wrap my head around. He does not want kids. At all. Go ahead...gasp or say "wow" because I sure did the first time it was brought up. I have always wanted to be a mommy from the time I was a little girl. I imagined having three kids, a couple of pets, and a husband that shared my love for both of the above. But he doesn't want that. At first I thought he was just being a smart ass...trying to be macho or whatever. I thought to myself...'if I happen to be the "One", and we get married, he'll change his mind'. But the more it gets brought up, the more I am beginning to realize he is dead serious. He does not want kids. I don't know what to do about this. On the one hand, this is the best thing that has happened to me in oh so long...and I don't want to end it after only four weeks because of something that he might change his mind about later on down the road. But on the other hand, if he never changes his mind, I might waste precious time with someone who doesn't share my same ideals. My head is spinning. I mean, should I really be concerned at this stage in the relationship? Should I give it more time, so we can get to know each other better and then make a decision? Should I get out now?

Tonight after I asked him if he was dead serious about the "no kids" thing...I wanted to purge so badly. I wanted to punish myself, even though I had done nothing wrong. ED was telling me that I would feel better if I threw up my dinner. I vehemently told ED to go where the sun don't shine, so yay for me. But I am still super upset over this. I honestly don't know what I should do.

I am open for suggestions, so please leave a comment.

And no affirmation right now...I am too grumpy.