I am happy to report...

that I am currently kidney stone-free! Yep, that's right...I have zero stones right now. Friday I had my second surgery on my left kidney, and they were able to grab all the stones in there. They left a stent in there to prevent any swelling and/or infection, and as of yesterday that is gone as well. I am feeling great! It has been a few months since I have felt good, so I am really eating it up. Makes me realize we should never take our health for granted.

On a side note, something interesting happened the other day. I got a text from a guy I dated almost two years ago. Now I haven't talked to this guy since we broke up, and let's just say that as soon as he told me he wanted to put his career first above me and everything else, things didn't end too well. In the text he apologizes for being such a lousy human being and for treating me the way he did. Okay, so maybe he doesn't really say the lousy human being part, but he basically says that he was a jerk and he's sorry. He also says that he thinks about me often and would like to take me to dinner. What?! I mean, it's been two years...isn't our entire relationship just water under the bridge at this point? My initial reaction was that of shock and awe...I literally just stared at the text for about 15 minutes. But then after I read, re-read, and RE-READ the text, I decided 'why not'...I'll let him take me to dinner. Can't hurt anything, right? We decided that Saturday would be best for dinner, and that we would talk later in the week to decide where, etc. Yesterday, I get another text from him asking if he could bring me dinner tonight. What? Saturday is only a few days away...can he not wait to see me? I decided that he must not be able to wait, and is desperate to see me. Okay, so again I am being melodramatic, but it makes for a more interesting story. Anyway, again I say yes, so we now have dinner plans tonight and Saturday. How do two people go from not talking at all, to having two dinner dates in one week?

Now normally all of this would be super exciting and dramatic for me, but ever since treatment I have been so focused on myself, that I haven't even given dating a second thought. My treatment team strongly suggests not dating for an entire year after entering recovery. At first I thought that was ridiculous (along with most of the other stuff they told me in there), but now that I think about it, it actually makes pretty good sense. I'm not sure how strict they are on the whole "one year" thing, but I think the idea is that you not date for a while so you can focus on your recovery first, before adding in any unnecessary stressors back into your life.

Now I know what you're thinking..."it's just dinner, not a marriage proposal"! Yeah you're right, but to me it's a big deal because this will be my first date since leaving treatment and entering recovery. I just keep wondering why this is happening now. Is this a good thing?  Should I be excited, nervous, or indifferent about the whole thing? My mind is racing with thoughts, and I've found myself getting all worked up over nothing. It's the nature of the disease. But once I remember my main focus right now...recovery...my world comes back into focus. All I really need to know, is that God has a plan for me, and this date is part of his plan. There is a good reason Jeremy has entered back into my life at this point in my recovery process. I can't wait to find out why though.

Today's affirmation: "I will not feel guilty for caring for myself".